There is a great shift in consciousness occurring on the planet right now. Every injustice, act of violence and challenge has not yet ceased, but profound examples of a unified global consciousness are popping up each week. We are all spiritual beings. We don’t need to do anything to become spiritual, but most of us live in the dark, not realizing our own Divine nature. Most of us can’t appreciate all that exists that is not visible to the naked eye. We cannot wrap our heads around synchronicity, Divine intelligence and the web-like connection that we share with everyone and everything. Quite unexpectedly, at the age of 38 my eyes were opened to what exists beyond the veil of human life. This particular post is about what it feels like for me to be going through what I like to call spiritual labor.
Spiritual awakening was not a part of my conscious life plan. Who am I kidding…I didn’t have a plan at all! Alas, I am going through labor anyway. I think that God often uses a significant challenge to shake us out of our slumbers. Mine started with the discovery of a ‘lesion’ in my brain from an MRI, just 9 days before my father died from lung cancer. As I was leaving the hospital on the day I said goodbye to my father for the last time in Albany, New York, a young man came up behind me, tapped me on the shoulder and said ‘excuse me miss? God asked me to tell you God bless you.’. The timing was perfect as I was headed back to Boston for further testing to determine if the lesion in my head was a rare form of MS or a brain tumor, my father was mostly unconscious in hospice care and I was terrified. Two days later as I drove alone back to New York to be with my father I felt a wave of euphoric energy pass through me from left to right. It changed my mood from deep despair to joy in an instant. I stayed joyful until I reached my father’s hospital room and discovered that my father had passed away. He passed away at the moment my euphoria began. Crazy town…
Over the next few years I continued to have experiences that I couldn’t explain. They seemed to happen at random times. Willing them to happen seemed to keep them farther away. Beyond synchronicities, which are cool enough, I began to see people’s energy fields around their bodies, intuitive healers and mediums would give me messages from my father in a context they would have no way of knowing and I even had a dream after requesting healing from John of God. In the dream, I met my healer, a man called Dr. Augusto de Almeida, who died in the early 1900s. You could say I was projecting, but before the dream I had never heard of Dr. Augusto de Almeida so how could I dream about him? I received messages from my 2 dogs that have passed in the last 5 years. Even last night, while at a breathwork session, I felt a rush of cold air on my left foot and the presence of lights around me even though there were no windows open and no lights on in the room.
I have had moments of connectivity where I experience life as an intricate web of energy, with each of us connected to each other. It’s the reason I no longer have enemies. I have no personal or global enemies because we are all one, although I do protect myself from people when they’re ego is running the show. The ego makes us believe we are separate. When you experience the realization that we are all one, even if the feeling doesn’t last, you can’t go back to believing the ego self which says that I am different than Jennifer or Paul. Sometimes I lose that sense of connection too. It’s not gone, it’s just that my ego likes to think she has the power. Her power is so miniscule in comparison that it is on those days that I feel my worst.
From what I have experienced so far, and I am definitely not alone, spiritual awakening, or remembering that I am a divine spark of God who can never be alone, is equivalent to giving birth. It is a miracle and you are completely out of control. In the natural process of giving birth you don’t get to pick your timing. Labor often starts with a momentous, messy event, your water breaking. In my personal experience my spiritual labor began when the brain tumor was found on an MRI just 9 days before my father died. In labor, you realize that there is no turning back. Natural labor is a series of crescendos, peaks and valleys. It is definitely not one straight shot. It hurts, like crazy, but you know what the prize is so you keep moving forward. In spiritual labor you are giving breadcrumbs to follow, glimpses of life beyond the illusion.
Throughout labor, which can last a very long time you welcome the valleys, the moments when you can catch your breath. Spiritually-speaking, I have been craving the discomfort and feeling lost in the valleys because the moments of spiritual connectedness feel so euphoric that I desperately want to feel it again! These valleys, however, are necessary periods of integration, similar to what a woman’s body must do to prepare to deliver a baby into this world. It can’t happen all at once because there would be far too much trauma on the body. Integration is taking time to process and allow the changes to settle. Integration is the word that keeps floating through the ethers lately. I am ‘integrating’ social media platforms so they can work together. At my breathwork session, after some high energy vibrations began coursing through my body, the facilitator told me it was time to ‘integrate’ the energy by lying in the fetal position…isn’t that an interesting link to the metaphor of labor? Today I was talking to a friend about the awakening and she asked me about ‘integration’. I think I know why it’s the message that I am receiving right now. I am not a patient person. I want to believe that I can handle the discomfort because the prize is so glorious, but just like with labor, I don’t get to decide when it’s time to push. God is in charge. I am a vessel.
I am becoming more uncomfortable each day. I want the next realization so badly that I can taste it and that is usually the best way to keep it away from me! It’s like the Law of Attraction. That which we focus on grows. When I am yearning for realizations and clearing more of the cloud cover of my illusion I am focused on my LACK of having the realization, which keeps me in a state of wanting, not having. I want the world to wake up and see the truth of our unity, not our separation. I get so excited when I see its evidence in the way we approach our relationships, our food supply, healthcare…even politics. I must be patient though. We all must. Live your life as authentically as you can right now. Follow the guidance of your heart more than your head. Be truthful and kind in every encounter because it’s not just you going through this, it’s everyone. We are all giving birth to a new world. Even if you have no idea what I am talking about you are a part of this process. I am very clearly in a stage of integration, so I will ride the wave and treat myself as gently as possible until the next crescendo.
Check out this quick video from Jim Carrey on what his spiritual labor has been like.
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Erin