I have been utterly blessed by the universe to experience life in a way that most do not. This exquisite part of my journey began in 2010 with my father’s passing and the discovery of a brain tumor in me. As most of you know I chose a holistic path to healing for many reasons not least of which conventional oncology had no answer and I had literally just watched my father suffer in agony through useless and painful treatments.
For six years I have been honored with continued amateur intellectual understanding of the nature of quantum reality, the bio-electric nature of the human body and the best way to build vibrance in life. Intellectual knowledge and direct experience, however, are leagues apart and to be honest, it can be really freakin hard to be so different; to see things and experience life so differently from everyone else.
I am given a lot of credit for how I embraced this challenge and I am so proud of how I stepped out of fear, a shell I lived in for the first 37 years of my life, but I want you to know that so many times since this adventure began in 2010, I chose the easy way, pseudo-health, with its protein powders and bars, and ‘healthier’ chips. While better than the big processed companies, pseudo-health food is still by and large processed, electrically-dead, and lacking all vibrancy. I had good moments of feeling connected to the greater journey, but many more where I made pseudo-health food choices out of fear and obligation, and plain straight crap choices because it felt too hard and I wanted to quickly soothe my ego. Being diagnosed, but not feeling unwell, not having my feet to the fire, made me complacent.
For about the last year I have been undergoing an internal transformation. Things that had mattered to me suddenly didn’t. A lot of what I loved about the journey began to seem jaded and artificial. For several months I have been uninspired to write, something that had always been a salve to my soul and had flowed effortlessly. Nothing I put to paper felt real or authentic. Having intellectually learned since 2010 that effort equated to resistance and to struggling against the flow of the wave I was being asked to ride, I simply stopped trying to write.
It was all a part of quantum preparation, the chrysalis phase of the butterfly, which I was experiencing. I, like most I would guess, find change very uncomfortable and will resist it as long as I can! In consciousness-raising communities there has been much discussion of the still point, a quantum crossing of reality, probably not all that different from a cosmic wormhole that rapidly flips over the perception of reality. Challenge or crisis is quite often the impetus that carries us. Within these consciousness-raising communities June 30th and July 1st, 2016 was this great transition point and a culmination of several years of great change. Not at all surprising to me I was hospitalized on July 1st. I personally refer to this as my choice point, a moment for me to choose my path. Metaphorically, I was standing on a railway platform. I could choose to hop on the commuter rail and continue to perceive life as I had and as most do or I could hop on the bullet train to rapid consciousness expansion. I chose the bullet, a perception of reality available to all of us if we simply choose to change the lens through which we see the events of our lives. I do not believe in accidents. I do not believe that the universe makes mistakes. I do not believe in karma. I do not believe that disease is bad. I believe every event is a gift from the universe and it is only up to us to perceive it in the most beneficial light.
If you had been with me on June 30th I would have craved veggie chips and protein powder smoothies. I didn’t really want those things, I really wanted cheese doodles, but I would have chosen them out of fear. Upon awakening on the other side of surgery, I quickly discovered that I had crossed the Still Point of quantum reality. My perception of my experience was transformed. The human body is an electrical machine to travel and play in consciousness. There is nothing to fear, there is nothing to heal, there is only this immense blessing of a pocket of highly dynamic energy (the body is electrical) that is rapidly and blissfully accelerating my conscious experience of the world. Upon awakening from surgery my body had become a finely tuned harmonizing beacon. As a result it would only crave and accept food that was electrically alive and full of vibrance…a tall order in a hospital filled with toast and crackers, but manageable. I became acutely aware of every morsel’s effect on my whole being, but particularly in my beautiful and sensitive new neural pathways. In a nutshell, processed food, including pseudo-health protein powders were now dead to me. I was free of the cravings.
I was released from the hospital 26 hours after one of the most delicate surgeries known to man. It is no accident that I was walking at my beloved Bay Farm that same afternoon. I am finally ready to admit that I am proud of myself and who I am blessed to be becoming. While all the other neuro ICU patients moved gingerly in and out of conscious awareness, and were fed to numb bellies, block pain signals and return as quickly as possible to some form of comfortable numbness, I was thriving, walking, talking and building my strength. Also not surprisingly, the neuro staff had no idea what to make of me.
The powerful feeling of transformation has already begun to wane. I have had two transformative experiences before where my perception changes. In each, the first few days were most intense and then it settled into a new normal, a period of integration, where things are clearly different, but where I can still function normally in a society that doesn’t see the way I quite do. It’s sort of like levelling up in a video game. The same is happening now, although this transformation was far more powerful than any before. While I still feel the blessing and the bliss, I also feel the practical path and steps and am utterly confident in the process unfolding.
Any time one uses pharmaceutical drugs constipation is an issue. I was placed on some hard core steroids, pain meds and the like. I went 9-10 days without a number 2, but here is the gem. Never once in all that time did I feel discomfort, not a cramp, pressure or gas pain…nada. I awoke transformed, on the other side of the quantum still point, knowing this experience was for my benefit and growth and not trying to destroy me, and I was craving only vibrance. The food I ate was being fully utilized by my cells thus producing very little cellular waste. Everything I was taking in was being maximized.
For six years I have also been aware that emf radiation from cell phones and devices creates energetic chaos around us. I intellectually was aware of this, but had never actually felt it myself. Upon awakening from surgery I was acutely physically aware of this chaotic radiation. I felt it deeply in my core for the first time, further evidence that something truly transformative had occurred. That is why I removed myself from much of my electronics while my neural pathways healed and am even now far more cautious and purchasing emf radiation blockers on Amazon for all of our electronics.
Upon awakening and breaking out of the chrysalis, I also discovered a glaring flaw in my approach of the previous six years. The universe is a place of glorious abundance, a tidal flow of giving and receiving. I had mis-perceived that it was my job alone to ‘heal’ me. I prided myself on my independence…stupidly. How or why would I ever believe or even want to believe that I am not fully supported and aligned with universal wonder? That’s just crazy. I awoke in a deep state of spiritual surrender, a far different surrender than what we think of as human surrender such as in human war and suffering. Spiritual surrender is like being led in a dance, gently being guided and whirled and delighted. I awoke understanding that my ego’s need to prove I could do it had blocked so much abundance in my life through the love and support of my dear family and friends. I awoke fully thrilled to receive gifts of love and support that felt wholly aligned with raising my energy vibration, which is what I am doing. I want to take this moment to shout out to my mother for being my home point person for the kids, my sister Kristin for being Mike’s support at the hospital and my sister Sue for making the long trip from New Jersey with my niece to stay with Kyra and I while Mike took Aidan to a lacrosse tournament in Stowe, Vermont. Your support means everything to me.
I am living in a state of abundant bliss. I feel physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually better than ever in my life. I am so grateful to all of you for your outpouring of love and support. I am fully in tune with what I need. I am listening attentively and acting on the divine guidance that is effortlessly pouring into my conscious awareness. I have been given the most precious gift that fills me with awe and wonder. I need do nothing other than listen with every fabric of my being to divine direction. Life is flowing effortlessly for my husband and children too. We are all in this transformative experience together and while outside perception and fear-based energy creates hurdles, particularly for my kids, they are enjoying life in ways that I haven’t seen for a very long time, and I dare say, they are far happier than ever before.
The universe is fully aligned to support our every need and it is amazing. Everything is working easily right now for my crew. The more I try to decide and control, the more roadblocks I face. I am deep in divine surrender just riding this cosmic wave. The institutions of western conventional medicine, with their focus on labelling and managing challenges in a fear-based way, do not support this view. They see a problem, I see a blessing. I can’t change their perception and they can’t change mine, and that’s fine.
I know how much everyone wants to help, as I mentioned, I finally get that your love and support feeds my soul. What I ask of all of you, my lovely and beautiful support, is simple. There is nothing to heal. There is nothing to fear. I am in a state of vibrant health…if you could see how my skin is glowing! There is only this beautiful opportunity for me to raise the resonant harmony (electrical vibration) of my physical body to allow this transformation to take me higher. I have a plan, but I won’t discuss details. Please don’t ask me questions about healing as there is nothing that needs healing and please don’t think or talk of me in fear or pity. We are all connected through energy so your thoughts and beliefs are either expanding my transformation or depleting me. Rather, and I thought it would be helpful to be specific here, please set your phone timer to one minute each day and spend that minute envisioning me within a bubble of golden light glowing and radiating vibrant harmony. I am eternally grateful for all of you and for the magic that is my life. I’ll keep you posted with all the juicy developments.
Rock on my friends. Life is thrilling!