It’s resolution time once again.  It’s that week between Christmas and the New Year when our bodies feel sluggish from over-indulgence, our wallets feel lighter from over-spending and our minds feel overwhelmed by the desire, yet confusion of how to get ‘back on track’.  The thing is that most of our resolutions come from guilt.  Most come from a desire to be different than we are, somehow better, sleeker and firing on all cylinders…as if we were trading in our Chevy for a Ferrari.

I gave up resolutions the first year of my diagnosis.  The way I looked at it was, I didn’t need to lose weight, stop swearing (so much power in the occasional curse), or get more fit, I just wanted to live.  Now, with time and an abundant supply of life force energy coursing through me, I have learned that there is still much I want to learn and do and be.  None of what I want has anything to do with resolutions though.  I will not do anything if I ‘should’ it.  I use ‘should’ as a verb now.  As soon as I ‘should’ something, it becomes a guilt trap and I have learned to spot them in their flimsy camouflage and avoid them.

I ‘should’ go to the gym.  I ‘should’ volunteer more.  I ‘should’ eat more vegetables.  All are worthy causes, but because I put guilt energy around them, they have become burdens.  From an energetic standpoint, and every one of us is pulsating energy at our cores, guilt energy weakens us.  The human body has profound healing capabilities, but only when it is relaxed. So even if working out is helpful, with guilt it loses some of its power.  I’m not saying eating well and moving your body aren’t important, but if you have the wrong attitude about it (guilt, shame, should) you are made to work harder for less result.

We love people with willpower.  We love the people who can stare down the Christmas cookie and not eat it.  We love the workhorses that never miss their gym time.  We admire people who deny their cravings.  I pass no judgment on that, but I am not that person.  I do not deny myself much these days.  It’s not that I want to be unhealthy, far from it, it’s that I approach health from a deeper level, where I am in constant contact with my consciousness, always checking in to see where my motivation for something stems from.  Do I want the cookie because I am stress eating (checking out from drama swirling around me) or do I want the cookie because I want the cookie?  If it’s the latter, I go for it without guilt.  If it’s the former, I avoid the cookie (sometimes) and send some TLC to my weary psyche.  Anecdotally, my health rarely fluctuates much anymore so I feel like I’m doing something right.

Life does not have to be a struggle.  Struggle is a choice.  Challenges may be present, but how you perceive them is up to you.  If resolutions empower you than go for it!  If resolutions make you feel badly about yourself as you are now…I say f#ck it.  Life is too short to believe that you are anything less than spectacular.  Stop feeling guilty for who you are.  Love who you are right now. Do what brings you joy and you will never need to make another resolution.

Wishing you a happy and attitude-healthy 2016!

Erin