Getting a cancer diagnosis is scary.  I can only speak from my own experience, but the moment I heard my diagnosis, my whole world changed.  In 2010, I was diagnosed with a slow-growing brain cancer.   This happened just 9 days before my dear father died of lung cancer.  It was as if the Universe turned upside down in an instant.  What about my kids?  What about my husband?  Rather than hysterical, I found myself utterly numb, in shock and in deep despair.

I could have given up and made arrangements for my demise.  I even contemplated suicide to spare my family the agony of watching me waste away.   I had witnessed my father’s intense suffering in the year that he was sick from cancer and chemotherapy.  My heart broke for him.  Now, I was on a similar journey.  Rather than play the ‘victim’ card, a card I had often played in my life, I chose empowerment.

Somewhere from deep inside me, a power source was building strength.  I chose a holistic path to wellness.   After 5 years, although the tumor may still be there, I am happier, healthier and stronger than I have ever been and I rarely concern myself with cancer anymore.  I have found a beautiful way of just allowing and embracing all that shows up for me every day to experience…most of the time.

Those who face cancer often find immeasurable gifts through the experience.  Cancer is like the teacher nobody wants because she is mean and gives out too much homework, but whom everyone recognizes as the best teacher they ever had…after the fact. 

Like the dreaded school teacher, cancer is one of the most powerful life teachers one can get.  Finding the gifts within it can help to soothe your soul and make the journey more profoundly moving.

The following are just some of the gifts I have been blessed to receive:

1. I Live in the Present Moment.

Before the brain tumor, I wasn’t terribly satisfied with where I was in my life, but my answer was always “someday” I’d go for the job I wanted, “someday” my life circumstances would be as I want them.  Maybe you play this game too.  In an instant, my hope for the future was taken from me.  Because of cancer, I had to learn that my fulfillment and my joi de vivre would have to come in the present moment.  Now I am just present for whatever wants to show up for me to experience.  I don’t judge it as bad or good.  I don’t worry.  I don’t fear because there is nothing to fear in the present moment.  Whatever comes I feel, I enjoy, I accept.

2. I Became a Better Parent.

I gave up the mommy competition.  My perspective on what was important changed radically.  I decided to teach my children the deeper lessons of life and focused far less on perfect grades, perfect sports performances and social popularity which all just perpetuates a sense of competition rather than community.  My kids have their own unique gifts, as all children do.  I focus on teaching them how to handle challenges, learn from their mistakes and love themselves for who they already are unconditionally.  I don’t get it right all the time, but I am a far better parent than I used to be.

3. I Found My Voice.

Pre-brain tumor, I wasted a lot of time being something other than my real self.  I never liked myself that much because I was different so I dimmed my own light to fit in.  Many of us only show our persona –the mask we wear to be socially-accepted.  A cancer diagnosis freed me to be me because the effort involved in keeping up appearances was far too draining.  I began to write.  I got closer to expressing my inner awesomeness with far less concern for what others thought of me.

4. I Opened to New Ideas.

I was raised in a conservative middle class family.  Things seemed black and white.  The brain tumor opened my awareness to the subtle field of energy that pulses life through all of us.  I realized that our feelings about ourselves and our lives manifest as what we outwardly experience, including disease.  I became open to experimenting with ‘alternative’ therapies such as essential oils, acupuncture, and cranial sacral therapy –all of which have proven profoundly helpful to me.

5. I Lost My Fear.

Fear robs us of enjoying the present moment.  I used to be afraid of everything.  The ‘what if’ gremlins camped out in my left prefrontal cortex (where the tumor grew) and stopped me from pursuing ‘unrealistic’ dreams and goals.  As I began to accept who I was, not when I healed, but in this present moment, the fears that had always plagued me receded.  I found peace like an underground river constantly flowing and guiding me to my next adventure.  I no longer fear life, fear making mistakes or fear death.

The hard lessons do seem to have a way of advancing our humanity in accelerated fashion.  Although I never wanted this to happen to me, every day I find a reason that I am glad it did.  Appreciate your challenges for where they might take you.   Challenges are God’s way of saying “I want more for and from you”.  Trust the journey.